Veracruz Mexican Grill:

I was craving Mexican one night (spoiler alert, this is pretty much my constant state) and the city of Cincinnati was in the middle of a crazy heat wave punctuated by impressive thunderstorms. We weren't about to venture out anywhere on foot, so you know what that means: delivery. But where-oh-where would we find authentic, home-style Mexican fare that could be delivered to our doorstep?

Enter Veracruz. Thirty minutes and one UberEats order later, we were enjoying some of the best refried beans and tacos in town, and we knew that we had to make the trip to the actual restaurant so we could try more of the menu.

There was just uno teeny problemo. Veracruz is on the West Side.

Let me preface this to say that I don’t have any hate for the West Side as a whole. There’s lots of neat things on the West Side. Creamy whips, chili parlors, great views from the Incline Public House. West Side people are cool. I don’t know if West Side is “best side” but it’s certainly not the worst side. I’m not super fond of Rapid Run park, which is a hilly hellacious bear of a 5K course that I still remember struggling through from my high school cross country days, but I can deal. Here’s my beef with the West Side.

It’s impossible to navigate.

Downtown Cincinnati (like most cities) is a grid. Not so with the West Side. The West Side map is made up of a series of random streets which make hardly any sense that loop, curve and (sometimes) intersect with no rhyme or reason, topped by no left turns allowed exactly when you need them most. You can’t get anywhere in a straight line, and once you’re lost, good luck trying to find your way back, you’ll just end up driving hopelessly in one direction without any way to turn around. One afternoon a few years ago we had to navigate by the sun to try and get out. THE SUN. When I find myself on the viaduct and emerge on the other side, I swear I see the triple moons ala Land of the Lost. The West Side is Cincinnati’s version of Hotel California. You can visit any time you like, but you can never leave.

But some things are worth the trip; Veracruz is one of them. We’ve been twice (and have been lazy and ordered delivery two times as well) now and have been impressed each time.

So many tasty choices

Our first visit, we ordered some drinks, the choriqueso, taquitos and cochinita pibil. The cheese dip at Veracruz is a bit thinner than at some of the other restaurants we’ve been to, which is not a bad thing - it makes it less salty and it doesn’t set up into glue as it cools down. I actually like it cold the next day out of the fridge with their flaky corn chips almost as much as when it is fresh. They also are kind of stingy with the portion sizes of the dip (read: if you have a group, get a double order), which is silly because we all know it’s Extra Melt, which is sold in five-pound blocks.

More queso por favor

The restaurant’s semi-open kitchen is right there when you walk in, and there’s the matriarch of the family running a tight ship with a notebook and a clipboard. It's very clear that Veracruz does not cut corners. Service each time has been friendly and fast.

My taquitos were stuffed with delicious, flavorful and tender chicken, served with traditional rice and excellent refried beans. David’s cochinita pibil made for a wonderful taco he assembled. Cochinita pibil is somewhat of a rarity around here, so it’s fantastic that it is on Veracruz’s menu.  It wasn't perfect (a bit dry) but fortunately that meant we didn't have to shoot the cook.

Our second trip (which we made without getting lost!) we were a bit more adventurous. There were two of us, we decided. Why not go for the gold with the “Monster Margarita?”

The couple that tries to drink "Forty Ounces of Fun" together...um, gets a stomach ache together?

I opted for the chicken tostada and a carnitas taco, because when in a Mexican restaurant, always get something with carnitas. The chicken was the same juicy, seasoned variety that was in my taquitos, and it did not disappoint on the crunchy, just-fried tostada. As for the carnitas, well, let’s just say Veracruz does them as well as they do all their menu items - the simple traditional carnitas taco is a knockout.

 K.O.

David ordered the steak norteño platter which features nopalitos (cactus strips).  Tasty flank steak combined with the nopalitos produced a steak-and-peppers-like combo that made great DIY tacos with flour tortillas.

🌵🌵🌵

So, what of the monster margarita, you may ask? Well, David and I are not ones to back down from a boozy challenge, but the combination of the volume, sugar and the fact that we were also busy stuffing our faces with delicious food from Veracruz meant that we had to throw in the towel on the margarita. It happens. Sometimes when you go hard or go home, you end up going home. Take it from us - this is a drink for a group of three or four. 

David and I have carefully documented how to get to Veracruz turn by turn, and I can even run there (about three miles from downtown) so you know we'll be back. Plus, rumor has it they have some great happy hour specials and an outdoor patio to enjoy before winter sets in. 

Barbe-Quest: Walt's

David and I have gone on a few quests around Cincinnati. One of which is the quest for good barbecue

Get in Mah Belly's post and one of my work friend's claim that Walt's was really good led us to venture over to Colerain — the West Side, and yes, we did indeed get lost — to try Walt's Barbeque. Walt's is a big red barn that's hard to miss. We went in the summer, so we sat outside. I got the pulled pork, and David got some beef brisket and ribs. We also had Blue Moons, which are on tap there, a plus. I got sweet potato casserole on the side

Our consensus was that despite our high expectations, Walt's missed the mark. Everything was very tender, but there was water all over the bottom part of my bun and David and I deduced from both the puddles on our plates and the consistency of the barbecue that Walt's boils the meat, which keeps it soft but leeches out the smoky barbecue flavor. Decent, inexpensive, but it's no Mr. Pig. [David's note: Maybe they keep the meat in hot water to keep it from drying out. I found the end result strange.]

The surprise was the sweet potato casserole. I can say without a doubt it is the best I have ever had. Crunchy caramelized pecans really put it over the top. I got an extra side of it to take home. Despite our "meh" experience with the barbecue, and the location of Walt's, I'd go back and eat nothing but sweet potato casserole.

Non- Nom: The Problem with the Westside:

Some of my co-workers are from the West Side. They love it. They tell me it's super-awesome. My feeling about the West Side is that I'd be more up for going there if I could actually get to my destination without getting lost. David and I have been to the West Side a few times and we have only not gotten lost once. We're pretty good with directions and we both have iPhones with google maps, so what gives, West Side?

I believe that the West Side city planners are mean-spirited and enjoy kicking puppies in their free time. None of the streets are in a grid—they are all squiggly like someone handed an orangutan a crayon and told them to have at it. The street signs are at odd angles so that you see the street you were supposed to turn on riiiight as you pass the street, when it's too late. If you go the wrong way and turn around, you will most likely be not allowed to make the desired left or right turn for no discernible reason except to thwart you as you mutter profanities under your breath.

The only way that David and I have determined to navigate the West Side is to designate some streets as "safe" meaning that if you get on the road, with very little funny business it can, guaranteed, take you in one general direction without too much meandering.

Other than getting lost, the West Side can be incredibly surreal:

Our last trip to the West Side, we passed a UDF as we were attempting to find our way. We pondered stopping there for a minute while we figured it out. We saw a figure walking towards the UDF with a backpack and what looked like a walking stick. Only it wasn't a walking stick. It was a gigantic Musket. A blunderbuss. An elephant gun. It was a WTF moment for sure. We decided not to stop at the UDF. 

So I ask you again West Siders…what's the secret to navigating your strange land? And what's up with the musket?