The Golden Lawn Chair:

“So...what are you making this time?” The cashier at the art store asked as I scooped up the numerous bottles of tempera paint, brushes and gigantic roll of banner paper off the counter.

“Well, you see the theme this time is...” I answered, and prepared to explain the slightly eccentric plans for David’s latest welcome back dinner. For new readers, my husband's prior job would take him out of town to Michigan periodically. To welcome him back, I began preparing dinners. While they have all been different, there are two constants: they always have a theme, and that theme is always a surprise.

After over a year of making welcome back dinners with various themes and requirements, my usual go-to places for supplies are starting to catch on that I’m usually up to something a little nutty unusual. Over the past year, dinners have gotten more complex, and I’ve started exploring different art mediums for the menus.

So if I walk into Plaza artist materials, there’s no telling what I’ll walk out with. Maybe some India ink? Calligraphy pens? Water colors? Oil pastels? Acrylic? A 12' by 5' banner? More paint brushes, since the cat likes to steal them and hide them in the corners of the apartment?

Same goes with Avril Bleh. Some of the dishes I have made have required very specific cuts (St. Louis style ribs, cut in half, please), so I received a similar question -- what are you making this time? -- when I headed there next. This time my meat-quest consisted of dry aged strip and ribeye steak, sliced extremely thin. Because how else are you going to make the fanciest philly cheesesteaks ON EARTH?

Regular steak simply won't do

I’m sure you are also wondering what the theme for dinner was. After much consideration, consultation and back and forth with Jeff, I hammered out a cohesive theme and complementing menu. The theme: Trashy to Classy. The menu:

The Golden Lawn Chair: Keepin' it Classy since 2012

Little Kings with matching bucket

Truffle Sea Salt +

=Truffle Tots!

I had the entire day free, but I wanted to take care of the prep early so I could focus on the banner I was planning to paint for the name of the restaurant. Philly cheese steak veggies (onion, pepper, mushroom and a little black truffle) were easy enough to prep, but things went South (sort of) when I tried get all fancy and caramelize the onions.

Pro tip: Use a plastic shower curtain when working with messy paints on beige carpet

Black truffles for the cheesesteaks

The onion disintegrated into the bacon fat I was using, and I ended up with a small amount of onion-bacon jam instead. While onion-bacon jam is never a “fail,” I did have to start over slicing onions. Once the veggies were prepped, I started on what I figured would be the most daunting task, deviled quail eggs.

These carefully sliced onions did not react as expected

I bought 24 quail eggs, because I was fully expecting to mess up the first 12. To my surprise, other than the anticipated tedium of trying to peel tiny eggs, they came out perfectly.

Adorable

Served with doily on silver platter

The dessert, which I dubbed “The Front Yard” was something that required a little forethought. Boozy gummy bears with different combinations of liquors and colors were prepped early in the week, and I hunted all over town for flamingos on pink picks. Cappel's downtown came through in the end. And of course, there was edible gold “scrap metal”.

The fanciest "dirt pudding" cup ever made

David has a new job now (yay!) that doesn't require him to travel every month, so future welcome back dinners are going to be even trickier to plan and execute.  Don't worry, though, I've loved trying my hand at different, challenging dishes, and I don't plan on giving up any time soon. Besides, I haven't even written about when I made him beef wellington yet. Fear not. It won't be long before I'm back at Plaza art supplies, buying who knows what!

Character Building:

The past few days have been an emotional roller coaster, and not the fun kind.

Last week at work, I was asked if I had a minute to chat by our office coordinator. As we headed back to one of the conference rooms on the far side of the office, I started to get a weird feeling. The door swung open, and I saw one of the agency's chief officers sitting at the table along with my boss, looking serious.

“Hi, Laura. We're going to have to have a difficult conversation...” my boss began.

I'm sure you see where this is going.

Not my fault, of course, but a tough decision that had to be made. I had done a great job, and the work that I had been hired for simply wasn't materializing as quickly as they hoped. My last day with the agency was that day. Starting immediately. Wham, bam, thank-you ma'am.

I was stunned. The next time someone asks if I have a minute to chat, I'm going to give serious consideration to running in the other direction.

I followed my boss back to my desk, wondering if this is how the unlucky gazelle that falls prey to a lion pack while the rest of the herd sprints away on the savannah feels. I began to pack up my desk, and LMFAO's “Party Rock Anthem” started to play softly over the office speakers. I briefly pondered if I would ever be able to hear that song again without feeling like I wanted to throw up on the spot.

It was definitely not my finest Thursday afternoon. I headed out the doors of the advertising agency where I had spent almost a year loving my job. I allowed myself to wallow in self pity for approximately 13 minutes, which is how long it took me to walk back to my apartment. I had a schedule to maintain for David's latest welcome back dinner that evening, and come hell, high water or unexpected unemployment, I was keeping it.

Welcome back dinners require about two days to plan out, not counting the main afternoon or evening of cooking. Between choosing a theme, determining the order of the dishes, making a grocery list and going shopping, a fair amount of coordination and effort goes into each one. Also, there are the props, and of course, the menu.

Practice makes perfect

Finished menu

Solar powered cat statues purchased from Findlay Market bobbing to Wu-Tang beats

In addition to staying up past midnight practicing how to write various food menu items in Chinese, I tried my hand at homemade fortune cookies on Wednesday. They are surprisingly easy, with one caveat—you will burn the crap out of your fingertips. After making the first set, I considered pouring myself a large shot of the sherry I had bought as part of the marinade for the Chinese BBQ spareribs. In the end, I put on punk rock and my big girl pants.

“The recipe only makes twenty cookies. You can do this.” I reassured myself, as I reached for another circle of batter that had just come out of 400 degree oven.

Crazy hot

I used memes and inside jokes for the custom fortunes. Ain't nobody got time for bronchitis.

I recommend using a muffin tin to help the fortune cookies hold their shape while they cool

The spare ribs were marinated overnight, and I had added some Szechuan peppercorns to the marinade for kicks. In addition to the ribs, I also decided to make mini crab rangoon cups, and vegetable fried rice. The fried rice worked out well because the egg yolks it called for were left over from the fortune cookies. Pairing the two recipes made me feel extremely efficient.

Sherry Baby

For drinks, I decided upon a drink called the Ms. Piggy, consisting of rhubarb infused tequila, agave nectar, citrus juice, and cava. It is indeed Ms. Piggy pink from the rhubarb infused tequila, and I'm pretty happy to have stumbled across a nice summer cocktail. In addition to the cocktails, David, who I had called earlier and told of the sudden turn of events, arrived home with flowers, chocolate gelato and pink fizzy wine, one of my guilty pleasures.

Despite the emotional monkey wrench that was thrown in the evening, dinner went off without a hitch. The mental turmoil that comes with looking for a new job isn't easy, as anyone who has been there knows, but I'm grateful for the support I've received from my friends and family. Overall, I'm excited about what my future could hold, and to see where my latest adventure takes me.

Onward bound!